I haven’t expressed how I have felt about my finish on this year’s Open.
100th place in the North Central.
Most people would be jumping for joy with this finish. Hearing about the Open, having people ask me how I’ve done and saying “good job” is SO wonderfully supportive and I thank each and every person who have been the positive strength along that 5 week period, but.. I have to completely honest. Every conversation about the Open or Regionals is like pins and needles all over my body. My heart is usually in my throat as I choke down tears of disappointment and slight embarrassment.
Yes, I know I know.. don’t be so hard on yourself. Be confident. Let this fuel the fire for next year. I get it all of that, and trust me I am doing my best to put a smile on my face and go after training like it’s the last time I’ll ever do CrossFit again.
But this is my time to let go. The week after the Open, I was happy and proud just to get out of bed and walk through the gym doors. I had many talks with God to help me be a great coach and strong woman emotionally and not break down any time regionals or the open was briefly mentioned.
And guess what, it’s helped. I realized and learned so much about myself due to this stressful 5 week Open..
1. I have come a long way in a very short period of time
2. Everyone that in the top 60-150 in the region feels the same way I do, and we will all be ok
3. I will be a regional athlete some day
4. I AM proud of finishing 100th place
5. I am thankful for all I am capable of and have, yet I need to focus less on what I do do not have
6. I cannot blame anyone, including myself, for not making it to regionals or think “what if”
7. God has provided me with the strength to be a top 100 athlete
8. God has a plan that is better than my own–I wasn’t ready this year, I have to trust God knows when my time has come
9. I strongly dislike working out in an empty gym, so I will always make sure I am surround by our awesome community
10. I have more support that any 23rd old could EVER dream
11. I will trust my program and be all in, 100%
I have found my peace. I will support and cheer on every single athlete that I know made it to Regionals this year with true love and respect. Yes, I may tear up in the process but all in good reason. Instead of wishing I was out there competing, I will think of the incredible overwhelming feeling of making it through the Open next year, earning my spot in the top 48 in the region. Those are tears of excitement and happiness for the future God has planned for me.
Thank you for your genuine support and love & here’s to my comeback,